My feels

I’ve been wanting writing something since weeks ago but you know things happened and you just cant ignore them because thats not how we supposed to deal with real life. So yeah finally i’m here writing piece of my mind which this time is about gangster things. Sounds serious dont you think? LOL. But no i’m not going to write anything deep about this topic.

It’s just last night, i fineshed reading a fanfix called Conversation Between Us written by Solangel@Soompi. This girl sure has what it takes to be an awesome writer. I know it! I just know dont ask me how because for sure i dont understand even a shit about professional writing.. LOL. It’s just the way she describes her story, the way she developes her characters, the way she builds everything in her stories totally blow my mind. Im not going to say it’s perfect because in some parts of the stories i feel like she can do better (again dont ask me what because i myself dont know what i am talking about OTL it’s just my feeling saying there’s shuld be more. But in all honesty her work was just briliant imo!! it’s outside some authors who have published their works but with if not “bleh” then “so-so” quality.

Okay back to the gangster thing. So i guess you know the sory must be about gangster things. An ordinary girl was trapped within a game played by 2 leader of famous gangster in Seoul. To cut it short the girl fell for the guy she wasnt supposed to. Of course the other guy was angry because the game was created by him in the first place to get the girl attention. Too bad the girl fell for his rivals. (Nb: if any of you pour soul come across with this post and considering what i write here as summary of the story then please dont!!! im suck at writing and shortening and deciding which part that shoud or shouldnt be included. So please just read the story which i highly recommend o/ btw the author gonna publish it so YAY HARD COPY BABY \o/). And then viola the guy that the girl fell for was killed at the end (i dont mean it to be a spoiler but it is .___. at the end).

From the last one-third of the storiy i already got the feeling he’s gonna be killed. But dang!! when i read it.. suddenly my feels was just in wreak havoc. Why cant the girl have a happy ending with the guy she loves dearly? It’s classic questions because im a sucker of happy ending so you know why. I dont hate the ending it’s beautiful in it’s own way but it just WHY!! i felt the sadness of the heroine after all these two had gone through thats why it’s WHY!!! This is so sad yet it’s beautiful at the same time. i didnt cry when i finished it which is quite surprising for myself because im in my periode and the ending is definitely not what im hoping for. I guess this happens because even after the sad feelings i can also see the beauty of this story.

This story also reminds me of a drama called The outsider i watched years ago. They have similar theme, gangster and same ending in which the lead guy was killed by his enemies. The sad feeling i got after finishing the story got doubled when i remember this drama. At that time i was also in this kind of state. I was so sad the leading guy was killed after he just fixed his relationship with his girlfriend :/. Why all things i watched/read related to gangster things get this kind of ending. I know gangster life supposed be that way, it’s hars full with blood. But cant we get another ending? I know it’s going to make them cliche where the main leads get to live happily ever after which is actually i know im not going to like. But still girl can dream right? πŸ™‚

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small mistake is never small

2 days ago i sent an email to an nz professor who prispectively can be my supervisor. He replied my email fast, within an hour i got his reply. He asked me to send my proposal then i suddenly became WHAT TO DO?!?! bcs tbh i havent prepared any proposal yet since the scholarship requirements dont state proposal, only research outline is needed. Finally i only sent him that thing. I blatantly wrote reserach outline in my email to him instead of research proposal that he asked. The worst part happened here. I totally forgot to attach that file and when i realized that stupid mistake i immediately tried to resend a new email. But i guess bad luck decided to pay me a visit that night. I cant even explain what happened to my internet connection that night logically. It run fast as it should have been, i could open any sites in a blink of eyes but unfortunately i couldnt attach 14 kb word file no matter what i did. I just couldnt. I tried to open my email using different web browser but still nothing changed. I wished hard the profesor wouldnt read my email too quickly. But i told you bad luck paid a visit. He replied my email at 3.42 am with onlyΒ  ‘there is no attachment’. I dont even want to think what he did at that late hour. I decided to try my luck with the connection AGAIN, but nothing changed. Thats how i end up going to internet cafe… I successfully attached the file but up to now i havent heard any news from him. lol. i guess i failed him.
have to look for another prospective supervisor γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹
you see what i mean, that was a small mistake but it lead to disastrous result which means it’s not a small at all γ… γ…