Review tahun 2016

Agak udah basi si sebenernya nulis review tahun 2016 sekarang, secara ini uda tanggal berapa Januari 2017 -_-. Awalnya saya g berniat buat nulis review-reviewan. Saya pikir cukup saya simpan sendiri. Mau diapakan terserah saya. Tapi saya sadar, manusia kaya saya, lupanya jauh lebih banyak daripada ingatnya. Kalau misalnya niat saya mau menjadikan 2016 sebagai pelajaran dan evaluasi diri jadi g kesampean karena saya lupa, kan sedih juga. Jadi  saya putuskan saya akan tulis apa yang saya ingat, saya rasakan, dan pelajaran apa yang saya ambil selama 2016 kemarin.

So… 2016 was one of a kind year (dalam hidup saya). Banyak sekali event-event fenomenal (buat saya) yang terjadi sepanjang 2016. Perasaan campur aduk, macem es campur, mungkin understatement untuk apa yang saya rasakan. Air mata ngalir segentong, hati lelah, jiwa resah, badan capek adalah sedikit frasa yang bisa saya gunakan untuk menggambarkan 2016. Well karena saya memang g pintar berkata-kata si. Bahasa Indonesia saya kacau, bahasa inggris payah, bahasa sasak juga patah-patah. Kayanya saya cuma pinter berbahasa kalbu aja -_-

Tapi bukan berarti 2016 isinya yang sedih-sedih semua. I got to travel to some nice places. Went to Palembang for a friend’s wedding and to Sumbawa for some end year holiday. Both were fantastic experiences. So I shouldn’t have complained too much. Ha!! but I do love complaining? Who doesn’t? wekekekk. It is a way to relieve stress #excuse #excuse. So…. As long as it is not too much (who am I kidding? My complaint is always too much -_-).

Beberapa pelajaran berharga yang saya dapat selama 2016:

  • Real world is damn hard. Finishing master degree in a foreign country which language is not your forte is nothing compared to the hardship you have to face once you are thrown into reality!! Be prepared!
  • No matter what you do, people will always find a thing or two (or many) to talk about you (and mostly behind your back). So don’t bother! Just keep your head up and walk straight. What they say don’t determine who you area. As long as you know who you really are, you’ll be fine. Never let what they say affects you, especially your emotional state!!
  • It would be a waste of time to try changing their mind once they determine how they want to think of you. If they don’t say a thing to you, or asking clarifications directly to you, then just ignore them. To me, it is a sign that they only care of what can be gossiped about. So just focus on what really matters to you.
  • There will always be people who don’t like you. Even when you do nothing to them. They will always find a way so they could justify their dislike to you. Either you do something wrong to their close relative/friend or you offend them in the most invisible way. So again don’t bother!!
  • Be productive! Instead of wasting time dwelling with sadness over the fact that life is hard, you better do something that can help you grow as a person. This is what I didn’t do last year, I mopped too much -_- but surely 2017 will be different #semangat45
  • No one can help you but god, yourself, and parents. Never depend too much on others. Hooman tends to disappoint you. Sometimes even your parents disappoint you. In the end, you only have god and yourself. Be independent!
  • Even so, family especially parents are still where you could get the most comfort from. Therefore, just like you don’t want to be disappointed by them, try not to disappoint them too. You become who you are today because of them. They give you moreeee than whatever you could ever give them back. Also, never forget to cherish them. You don’t know until when you can be with them.

Tapi kalo diliat-liat, dipikir-pikir lagi, kedengarannya list di atas agak selfish ya. Seolah-olah semua tentang apa yang saya rasakan. Tapi sebenarnya gak begtu juga. Apa yang saya tulis diatas adalah apa yang saya rasakan tepat untuk saya lakukan setelah saya berusaha untuk menghindari kejadian-kejadian yang membuat saya merasa seperti diatas. Saya saudah berusaha dan kedepannya akan tetap berusaha melakukan yang terbaik untuk menghindari gesekan-gesekan yang tidak diinginkan. But when what u did was not enough, even when you gave your best, the list happens. Krikkkkss

Overall, as I said before 2016 wasn’t totally a bad year, there were many unfortunate events but lesson learned coming with those events were also valuable. Other than the unfortunate events as I said earlier I also experienced many fantastic moments with whom I cherish. So another important lesson, try not to complaint too much and be grateful for every chance I got. Akankah saya bisa? Ha!!

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First time going to jail

Yes, the title says it all!

Today I went to a jail for the first time. I have been passing that building since forever, but never I thought that I actually would step my foot on there.

The feeling was surreal as I went there to do something I’ve never imagined before. I mean I have always been curious how jail in real life looks like. I’ve been seeing enough from movies, dramas, and news how a jail looks like. But still, I need to experience it by myself to satisfy my curiosity and today I got it. Nonetheless, I never really thought that I would get a chance to come to a real jail.

Surprise? No.

Happy? I do not know

Sad? Yes. It is my family member after all. How could I not be sad?

I almost feel like life is cruel eventho I know better that I should not have that kind of thought . But the past few months have been an emotional roller coaster for me and then this month I got this kind of surprise. Like I am still thinking, is this for real? How could this be real? just HOW?

I wanna cry, scream and talk. But as always I end up being mute. I am tired.

I think I need pillows.